#ItsAllReal

People say suicide is selfish to protect their own minds from accountability to taking no action. Isn’t it more selfish to ignore abuse when it is occurring so blatantly, expecting a minority to continue enduring its effects? Suicide continues to increase because egos are more important than acknowledging the reality that abuse must be acknowledged to change. I filed a greivance, our only means to be heard while incarcerated, stating if I was housed with others in custody I would harm myself to protect myself mentally and physically from further batteries that have amounted to more than 50 in recent years for my refusal to wear a mask and unwilling to let others call me any name they wish without rebuttal. Captain Garcia along with a mental health "professional" named Ian stated, it's not greivable because it's always acceptable to let others harm me and I am the problem for wanting to address the cause rather than letting them contonue to exploit the effects they profit from. In one instance with a cast on and my pants down I couldnt even take a shit without getting jumped by three while sitting on the toilet, because thats a fair fight. Its funny to some people and thats disgusting too. Broken arm, broken wrist, broken hand, broken nose, multiple choke holds and sexual assaults, and I'm the only person at fault in every instance they say, that they wont even allow to feel safe, let alone fucking breathe. It makes my last suicide attempt swallowing 70 tylenol seem more rational. Not that I want to die, but you'd understand living this, you'd rather hurt yourself, when it's the only control you have left, than let another do it a single instance more.

In recent days, Deputy Yaya and Deputy Giang have referred to those detained as "Fucking idiots" & "Fucking retards." Deputy Ndungu told one, "Thats why you got shot" in response to being called a name. Minimal offense compared to other abuse described in these blogs, but if we're to do the same, we're sent to the hole and lose access to speak to loved ones when we're not even convicted. Deputy Krueger delivered food with someones shit sitting in front of my cell. Deputy Yang shared facial trimmers without sanitizing that could lead to spreading a disease. Deputy Kwong & Deputy Pusawong interfered with legal mail, a federal offense. I point these actions out, because they are committed by deputies earning more than $100K a year in salary, that would have others lose their jobs and public businesses shut down. They say they want you to behave a certain way, then broadcast on national television world leaders threatening violence on prosecutors without consequence. Professional athletes make commercials saying, "We see you" as they get paid millions to play ball and still cant keep themselves from physical brawls during games even with their own teammates at times, they get to stomp on other player's chests as overpaid cops simply look on from the stands to enforce law when they see fit, because they're bought out to play their facade roles of law & order, when the very least cant say words when they're forced to show their assholes to strangers for the same actions.